Friday, November 26, 2010

What a ride!


image via etsy
So the good news of the week is that P's heart function remains stable.
The bad news is that it seems P's growth has slowed down.
About 3 weeks ago he was measuring in the 62nd percentile, and today
he's only measuring in the 39th percentile. 
If it drops into the teens we will deliver.

What a roller coaster ride this journey has been.
I had a feeling this was coming & my doc warned me about this early on.
But still I'm crushed. 
It's not that I'm in denial, but the news
 again slaps me in the face and is a constant reminder that my baby really is sick.

Deep down I knew my bump just wasn't growing the way it had been.
Now when people ask how far along I am I'm almost reluctant to tell them the truth.
I'm finding that when I tell them my true gestational age they reply with a
"You don't look that big"
and again the truth slaps me in the face.

Needless to say we didn't trim the tree today.
My Gherkin and I saw Harry Potter, he held me and let me cry,  
and now I'm curled up by the fire watching Happy Feet.
Maybe tomorrow we'll get that tree up, but today just wasn't the day for it.


Here's our little man today.
I've found myself apologizing to him all day long. For what, I'm not really sure.
I pray that he is not in any pain or suffering in there. 
I pray that all he feels is how deeply he is loved already. 

{Dad, I really think he has your face. Guess that middle name is appropriate.
Now if he'll only fight like you}

Thanks for reading and for letting me share this ride with you guys.

13 comments:

Natalie said...

Tiffanie,

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and, of course, baby Preston. He seems like a fighter to me! :)

-Natalie

Jenn Smith said...

Tiffanie,

Your words are so real and by you writing your heart, we can pray for yall and sweet baby P. I'm praying that you will feel God's mighty arms around you and Preston tonight.
God Bless,
Jenn

Psalms 18:35
For You will light my lamp; The LORD my God will enlighten my darkness.You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great.

Kristin said...

thanks for making me cry. i love you!

CBD said...

I can't imagine what you are feeling but please know that my prayers are with you. The blogging community has the amazing power of prayer...

Thinking of you.

Karinny said...

I have a women prayer group via internet and we are all praying for you and your baby.

Donlee and Amanda said...

Hey girl. I just discovered your blog. I'll be praying for little P!! I look forward to hearing about him.
Amanda

The Johnson Family said...

Tiff,

My thoughts and prayers are with you guys and Preston.
Your strength continues to amaze me and I know Preston has that same strength and fight in him.

Constantly thinking of you!

Breann said...

We love you guys and are here if you need us.

Anonymous said...

Just keep your Faith Hope Love
'Always

abby @ tales and trials said...

Thinking about you and praying that Preston can hold out a little longer.

kristyo15 said...

You guys are not far from our thoughts and prayers. Continuing to pray...

Aly @ Analyze This said...

I love reading your updates, but this one really filled my eyes with tears :(

I pray for you all day, everyday, and I'm not going to give up on it, but why Prseton? Why you? I'm sure those are the million dollar questions...

Continue to stay strong and think positively. Talk to him all the time. :)

Much Love, Faith in Hope all the way from Indiana! Xoxo

Anonymous said...

Hey T,

You got to hang in there for that little precious boy. This entire journey has brought you closer to God and his word. Only you truly feel what you and "P" are going through but remember you have a special Angel on your side. You have done everything possible that you can do for "P"; lay everything down at the feet of Jesus who is with you every step of the way. We are all here for you, but we all know WHO is in charge. You have a lot of Brashear in you and "P" has some as well (you know what that means about taking crap of people).
I love you bunches and Pray that God will give you the strength and peace to finish this journey with your head held high. Preston knows what all you have been through in order to bring such a Precious gift from Heaven above to this earth.

hugs and kisses,
kk