Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Peace.

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Many people comment on how calm Mr. Gherkin and I seem to be during this time. It's not easy, and we most definitely have our freak out and throw things moments, but overall I do think we are at peace with the situation we are in or at least we are trying really hard to be.

I often think about where our peace is coming from, and here's what I've come up with.

1) In Him and His Word. I'm back in touch with His Word. I hate to admit that I haven't been diligent with reading my Bible or devotions over the past few years, but the most comforting thing is that as believers we can always return to Him and His Word without judgement ... like we've never skipped a beat. He tells us His grace will be sufficient, and we are finding that it certainly has been thus far.

2) In Each Other.  We vowed to each other "for better, for worse."  Not for better or for worse. During premarital counseling the minister was very clear to point out that this phrase does not contain the word or, and he assured us that both would occur during our marriage. We sure hope we've gone through the worse and that things will be for the better from now on, but it's comforting to know we'll have each other and our commitment to each other even if worse case scenario occurs.

3) Prayers. My dad said one night, "Preston's going to be ok.  There are too many people praying for him for things not to be ok." Like a child believes in Santa Claus, I fully believe in this.  So thank you, thank you, thank you to all those who say you'll pray for Preston and then truly do. We find peace in that.

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4) Friends & Family. It's comforting to know that others have been and will be there to support us when our knees buckle. We couldn't do this alone and it's good to know that's not an option.

5) Heaven.  I know full well that Preston may not make it through this whole process. Trust me when I say I think about this everyday, but I also believe that God has a special place for babies in Heaven and that our P will be in Heaven if he doesn't make it. All of our days are numbered, right? If P's days are limited then I hope I'll be at peace knowing that he's in a better place and that his innocence was preserved. If Sweet P goes to Heaven, I hope I can be thankful that he will not suffer or ever know all the bad things in this world like the definition of cancer or rape.

So for now I think we are at peace with our situation. Waiting is hard though. The uncertainty is hard. Thankfully we have the holidays to keep up distracted. My heart hurts for the mommies out there ... especially during this holiday time ... who've lost their babies. I hope they too have or can find peace.


Isaiah 40:31

11 comments:

The Sexton 3 said...

You and Preston have more people praying for you than you will ever know!! :)

Danna and Kirk said...

I am a new follower, but wanted to let you know that I will be praying for your sweet little boy!

Aly @ Analyze This said...

I'm already a bit emotional today for some personal reasons, and now reading this hasn't helped at all! Darn you Tiff! (I say that jokingly)

You and your spirit amaze me. I pray for all three of you every single day. He has so many people believing in him - praying for him - and loving him.

Krystal said...

aw, I'm so glad you are lucky enough to have piece through all of this. my friend just lost a baby and it is a rough time for her :(

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Jessica said...

Your words are incredible. Baby P will be so proud to know how strong of a mother... parents he has. I too, agree with your Dad, because the power of prayer is unbelievable. Your story touches my heart.

Casey said...

Tiffanie,
You are such an inspiration to me. Praying for you guys.
Casey

In this wonderful life... said...

I think you are doing amazingly well and as best as you can. Peace is just a powerful thing and I've felt it all along. I've prayed you would have it too :) Hang in there! Can't wait to see your little man!

Jumping Jack said...

I'm so thankful you have peace in this situation. I'm so amazed by your strength and am praying for your family every day! Our God is an Awesome God, that's for sure!

Sarah @Newlywed and Decorating said...

Your strength is really admirable! I'm glad you can lean on God and get peace. Praying for your baby!

Newlywed Next Door said...

Great post. You are so strong and amazing. There are so many people praying for you and P!

Happiness Is... said...

I think peace is an amazing gift that not everyone is wise enough to appreciate. It's so inspiring to see that you and your husband are able to achieve and reocgnize this. No matter what, Preston will always be your son, but I pray that he has many happy days on Earth.