Wednesday, November 9, 2011

what's on my mind: he said what?

'tis true and borrowed from pinterest.

I've been taken back by some of the comments I've received since having Preston.  They're not all that terrible, and I hope know these people mean no ill will but I'm just a little shocked at how blatant folks have been during this postpartum period.

These are some of the remarks I received since having Preston:

"You look different."
"You don't have a baby face anymore."(nope, wrinkles instead)
"You look more mature."
"Can't quite explain it, but you look different"
"You look tired." (I get that one more than I care to admit)

What the heck do these type of comments mean?  Sometimes I just laugh and smile and completely brush off these comments.  Some days though I wake up on the wrong side of the bed (shocker!) and these comments rub me the wrong way.

And my favorite post-partum comment is...

"You've got more curves."

Well, thank you, captain obvious. Thanks for pointing out the extra 10 pounds.

The most recent comment though, and the one that really made me laugh, came from one of my dear patients. A patient who reminds me of my dad and whom I am pretty fond of.  As I was walking out of the exam room, wishing him a happy holiday season, he stops me and says...

You little much better with a little meat on your bones. 

No, seriously, he really said that.  First up, let me assure you that I had meat on my bones before Preston. Secondly, I actually kind of love his comment.  Maybe I was just in a chipper mood that day, but it made me  Even my nurses joined in on the laughter. 

So I get it, I probably do look different.  Yes, I have bags under my eyes.  Yep, I'm still 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, and sure it's very likely I have some wrinkles and frown lines now after the pregnancy that I went through (all totally worth it might I add).  I get it, and I'm dealing.

Do you ever get these kind of random remarks from almost complete strangers?  Remarks that could certainly be meant as a compliment, but remarks that happen to be interpreted by a tired, new mommy who's worried about how obvious it is that she trying to fit into her old, one size too small jeans.  How do you respond? Got anything witty for me to use as a comeback?


Crystal Renee said...

I think some people have no "filter". I had experienced a horrible anon comment on my blog yesterday, where at first, I went private for all of 10 minutes, then came back with a post about how God does not like people to judge. There is no reason that some things should be said. I think you look amazing and honestly, there is no words to respond back, except let it roll off! I try not to even pay them any attention.

God Bless,

Cheryl E. said...

Well first of all I love your quote. So true in our house. The hubs just doesnt seem to get it.

I do get comments like that and have to brush them off or I would drive myself nuts. Yes I look different now that I have a baby. Im fine with it so why do they care? People can be so rude sometimes its sad.

Gretchen said...

Before announcing my pregnancy, I had someone tell me I looked "fluffy". Really!!! Fluffy!!!! I can't write what I wanted to tell them...UGH!

Aly @ Analyze This said...

You look great regardless if you are with child or without!!

They say your body will NEVER be the same once you have a baby ... I'm sure you can agree with that!!

Shae said...

Luckily (I guess??), I'm a big girl anyway, so I don't get these comments. Ha! It took til the last 12 weeks of my pregnancy before you could really tell I was pregnant anyway.

Andrea @ Decorating Cents said...

This is one of my per peeves. Don't speak unless you have something nice to say. Just because you think something about someone doesn't give you the right to say it. First reaction is to snap back with something mean but will that really make you feel better? Smile back and say thank you. Sometimes that person says something mean just to make themself feel better. I wouldn't change anything about my body now because that little face makes it all worth it.

Breann said...

For what it's worth, my dear friend, I think you look fabulous and you don't look "different."

Jessica Drew ♥ Stilettos @ a fishing pole said...

You do look great, Tiffany!

Curves are good!

Meagan @ The Clanahan Fam said...

Oh girl, you are NOT alone. I have gotten my share of comments on my looks - "those babies must be keeping you on your toes because you look exhausted, or "look, you actually have eye make up on today" - thanks, yes, I do. The babies don't care if I wear makeup or not. Most of the comments from strangers have been about actually having twins - in fact I wrote a post about it because it was getting so stupid :)

And you look beautiful! And no, our bodies will never be the same but who cares because I can look at it and then look at my kids with pride and know that I carried them, and every pain and every stretch mark was well-earned and completely worth it! (Although sometimes I need to remind myself of that when I step out of the shower :) )

Missy said...

People are crazy. You always look amazing. Pre-baby, Preggo and Post are stunning!
You have always had the cutest little figure...bitch! haha

Virginia said...

Luckily, the people around me whose opinion I really care most about (my hubby) have been sensitive to my baby weight gain and the subsequent holding on to that 30 extra pounds for over 10 months post-baby (I gained 42 lbs. and Britton only weighed 6 lbs.) I was just so sure that I would be back in my size 4/6 a couple weeks post-partum...Ha!!! I'm so insecure about it, but those extra pounds are just a souvenir of the greatest gift of my life:)Now I've just got to get motivated and get myself back in the gym and on a good eating plan, so I will be able to squeeze back into my favorite pair of 7 jeans...they have been so lonely for the past 18months:(

Dianna said...

I get those comments too. I also got similar comments when I was pregnant. I couldn't believe the things people say to a hormonal pregnant woman!

Laura@Cowboy Boots said...

i get the "you have 5 kids? you don't look it."

what's IT supposed to look like


"aww don't just had a baby..the weight will come off"

ummmm thanks I didn't ask and I'm holding a 9 month old...that can't qualify for just had anymore

for the record...yeah you for only 10 lbs...i'm holing onto to be me

Mommyblogger said...

People tend to speak before they think!!!!
My grandpa used to tell me I looked better with a little meat on my bones LOL. Now that he's gone, I cherish that comment :)

Lisa said...

You look fabulous. I like to think of it this way: the 10 pounds represents all the time you spend lovin' on Preston instead of obsessing about what you eat or exercising, because you cherish him SO much that you'd rather not waste energy on things that aren't important.