Monday, August 5, 2013

mother of two.

I am so fearful of falling victim to enabling the whole 'the second child syndrome.'  I want Preston to know that he is adored beyond belief, but I also don't want Hadley to ever feel she's getting shafted or got shafted.

  What am I talking about? The whole mentality that I shouldn't do this or that or I'm not supposed to do this or that because it's my second pregnancy or my second child.

Some think it's silly to have a shower for a second baby. Some may think it's ridiculous or vain to take bump pictures especially with a second baby.

Me personally? I wanted to be just as excited about this pregnancy and this baby as I was with Preston.  And I am!  I wanted to be sure that I do the same things I did with my first with this one.  And I'm trying to although it's not as easy this time around.

 I stay committed to doing bump pictures weekly. I did weekly bump pictures with Preston so it feels only right to do them with Hadley.  I document them here on the blog, I save some of  them saved for her baby book, and I put prints of them all in a journal that I keep to document my each of my pregnancies.  So there, that's why I document my pregnancies and why I post weekly bump pictures still.  Not for attention and not for my benefit, but because I did it with Preston and because, in hopes of keeping things fair, I feel the need to do it with Hadley.

Next, would be the journals mentioned above. I kept a very detail and personal journal of my pregnancy with Preston.  It holds everything from those special memories of feeling him move for the first time to those desperate prayers that I poured out for him when we were unsure of his well being.  That thing is so super precious to me.  I keep it put up in a closet.  I've yet to reread it --- don't think I can right now.  One day my hope is that he'll read it and know how precious his life was to me even when I couldn't yet hold him or see him.

So although late, I started a journal for sweet Hadley.  It is filling up with bump pictures, memories that I want to record, sweet things I want her to know of her namesake (my grandmother) and prayers that I have for her life.  I do feel bad that I don't get to journal everyday in hers (such is the life with a toddler) or that so far hers doesn't have as many words as Preston's does, but I'll keep at it. Maybe I'll continue to write in it and share thoughts and memories of our first year together.

Then there's the photography. My go-to girl posted about her limited number of spots available for the fall, and initially I dismissed that I needed to snag one of those spots. For some reason I just wasn't thinking it was something that I needed to do. Why? Who knows!  I did it with Preston and I really feel passionate about not creating this whole 'second child syndrome' (if that's even possible) so I'm now on the books with Kristy.

 Kristy was also there to document Preston's birth (you can see her amazingness here BUT warning, I still cry every time I watch it) so a couple weekends ago the Gherkin and I thought about whether we should have someone there to document Hadley's birth?  I initially thought no, then Mr. Gherkin pipes in, saying that we have all these pictures and even books documenting Preston's birth and said we should consider how Hadley might feel when seeing those pictures of Preston and none of her.  Well, then that's that.  Looks like we'll have someone there documenting Hadley's birth.

Then once she's here, there will be the obligatory month pics and I will post them here as well as put them in her baby book.  Consider this my back-up baby book.  Just staying prepared in case my house ever burned down.  I say that half jokingly, but it happened when we were children. We lost our house to a fire so I'm a little paranoid.  So back to my point, I did them with Preston so I hope to be consistent in doing them with Hadley.

And speaking of Miss Hadley's monthly pics, how precious are these stickers?  And they're absolutely free.

download here   //  boy option here

I imagine it's going to get a lot harder once she's here so I refuse to let myself think any further out than that, but I hope I can keep up the stamina and energy and remain committed to this idea.

I get that second time moms have less time because, well, they have two kids now and still only have two hands and only 24 hours in a day. There have been plenty of days where I told myself that no one will notice if I didn't do this or that and Hadley would certainly never know the difference. Then I sucked it up and stuck to my guns, feeling much better afterwards.  Am I the only one struggling with this? It's hard, right? A few people warned that it could/would happen almost as if it's just a natural state of progression.  I'm not sure I agree, so for now I will stick to my guns.  I want Preston to know that he is adored beyond belief, but I also don't want Hadley to ever feel she's getting shafted.


All that being said though, I am excited about treating this as a new opportunity with a fresh start.  I like the quote above.  I don't want to go into this new opportunity as a mother of two with any preconceived notions of  how it will be as I attempt to raise two kids in this broken world when truth is I'm just learning about how to be a mother to one child and some days I feel like I just get by.  I do know one thing though, I will go into this whole 'mother of two' thing being the best mother I can be.  I won't be perfect, but I will be the best mother I can be.


tiffany | monuments and melodies said...

amen!! you're going to be a GREAT mother of two!! God purposefully chose you for them & them for you. ignore all of the crap people warn you about, etc etc. there's no rule just do you & things will fall into place ;)

Cheryl Enlow said...

What a great post, well said Mama :) you do what you feel is right and ignore what everyone else things. This is your girly girl, you deserve it.

Andie said...

You are going to do great- God has a plan for you and he knew what he was doing when he made you P & H's mom! :)

Cajun Cowgirl said...

Document away! In fact, consider a chance to grow in your documenting skills! :)

You will be a great mother of two because God gave you those two little souls to borrow for a while. He trusted you and knows what He's doing!

The Daigles said...

I think every mom goes through a stage of guilt when they are pregnant with their second child. I thought how could I possibly love another child like my first. But then you have the baby and think how silly was that idea!!! You will find your groove.
I totally agree about doing things for the second baby just like you did for the first! You are just as excited, so why not! I see baby showers as a celebration of life, it's not about the cute baby things! I had a baby sprinkle for my 3rd bc I wanted pics to document how excited we were!!
Good luck girl! Can't wait to see pics!