This is my first what's on my mind post since having two kids. Gosh, y'all, there's A LOT on this mommy mind. To be honest, I am so foggy most days that I can't even tell you what's on my mind. I have three lists going at all times now --- if I don't I never get anything done. I used to be all "let's do this together as a family" but now I am all about "let's divide and conquer." Anyhow, here's what comes to my mind.
My girl has the most laid back personality. She's so soothing to be around. I can pick her up when I feel stressed or anxious and her sweet little calm spirit calms me. She's just what I needed in my life. I think we'll get along just fine in this life until she's 16 and thinks she's allowed to date. I felt so overwhelmed on Thursday at work --- just felt life's demands closing in on me --- and all I wanted was to run home and hold my daughter. Not just because I missed her, but because she's my "be calm pill."
This postpartum period has been so different than last time. Although, I didn't figure it out until months after Preston was born, I most certainly had postpartum depression. I took meds for about six months. I remember being overwhelmed with Preston --- babies can take and require sooo much but can only give so little.
For the most part, this postpartum period has been com-plete-ly different and I'm soooo thankful for that. I'm not saying it's been perfect, but it's been better and different. This past Thursday was a rough day, though, and for some reason I felt a bit suffocated by some of life's demands. I hope it's not a repeat of last time. Not sure what was going on, but I certainly didn't like feeling the way I felt.
The Gherkin and I are definitely trying to figure out how to balance being husband and wife AND being parents of two. That's been the biggest adjustment this time around in my opinion.
Preston is a super affectionate big brother. He loves to give her kisses, hugs, and always holds her hand. Super sweet to witness but super scary for germs --- I will have to admit that Hadley's immune system is definitely been exposed and hopefully is growing exponentially stronger in the long run. He is quick to give her a paci when she cries, but really she's not hunting for her paci --- she just LOVES it when he talks to her. She stops crying immediately, her big blue eyes staring up at her big brother. Yes, her eyes are still blue. How 'bout them recessive genes from way, way back! They could still change --- only time will tell --- but I love her baby blues!
There can be a crowd in the room, but she is always looking for and at her big brother. It's the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
Preston likes to say that his best friend is his daddy, and he always tells me that "baby Haddie your best fend, mommy."
I'm back at work now, part-time, building up slowly to full-time. I'm a little overwhelmed right now. I was chomping at the bits to be back at work after Preston. This time, though, it's much harder and I'm honestly torn. I've always said that personally I felt like a healthier mom because I worked out of the home also, but this time I don't quite feel that to still be the case. Anyhow, I'm still trying to figure that one out.
I've been exercising consistently, which I think has helped played a huge role in how much better I feel this postpartum period. You can read more about my reintroduction into the world of regular exercise here. I tried Pure Barre River Oaks this morning --- LOVED IT! Craving more already!
And finally, my friends on instagram have me obsessed with this app called Waterlogue. It takes your phone pics and turns them into watercolor paintings. Above are some of my favorite waterlogue creations I made the past couple of days. Careful, though, it's addicting.